Having a boyfriend with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is a huge issue for many girls. It can create a bridge or become an obstacle in your healthy relationship. Also, it can turn your healthy relationship into an unhealthy one which is not good. But you can save everything and protect yourself and your partner from drastic consequences. For that, you need to know first how to deal with a narcissist boyfriend and then what to do next. If you want to know the perfect way to handle the situation, then go through the below-mentioned section.
What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?
As the term depicts, it is a personality-based disorder which can only occur in a narcissist person. The disorder can be a normal to serious one, according to the mental and physical state of the individual. You can categorize this disorder through signs such as a lack of empathy, self-centeredness, respect for their emotions, and no respect for others’ achievements. These kinds of signs can confirm the disorder.
However you cannot diagnose it, but you can notice it through some tests such as Reality tests. Before that, you need to understand that the affected person struggles with their own interpersonal personality. It makes them interact less and take a step behind a serious relationship.
How to Deal With a Narcissist Boyfriend in an Easy Way
Check his Feelings
Being a narcissist is a serious problem, and it can become a big headache if your boyfriend is a narcissist. However, you can deal with this problem by checking his actual feelings. But do you know how to deal with a narcissist boyfriend by checking his actual feelings? You can start it with an understanding of emotions. For that, having a feeling for someone is a special thing. But a narcissist has a rare personality disorder which reduces the elevation of a particular emotion for a specific person. It means your boyfriend’s emotions will be suppressed because of the disorder, and his feelings will most likely be altered for you.
As a lover, it may be difficult for you to understand. But you can check his feelings if you are not sure how to handle him in this situation. For that, you can start by noticing his caring behaviour and then check why he suddenly starts detaching from you. These kinds of sudden changes in your narcissistic boyfriend can hurt you mentally. So, it’s better to take a step ahead and make your life free of physical or mental abuse. This way, you can deal with him and also with his sudden change of feelings.
Make a Gap for a Healthy Relationship
Sometimes we need to take one step back for an unhealthy relationship. That is how to deal with a narcissist boyfriend, especially one who needs everything according to them. Generally, they do not care anything about you and never prefer your taste and interest. They want everything in the place as they desire.
So, to make him realize, you need to make a gap between you and your boyfriend. It is a ‘must do’ thing for a healthy relationship; otherwise, your relationship will be over. But remember that when you make a barrier, you need to clear him of what will be acceptable or not. It could make your boyfriend angry, but you have to do that to protect your relationship.
During that time, your boyfriend will try to change your mind and try to divert your attention from the topic. For that, he may talk about you and the memorable moments you have spent together. It is kind of emotional blackmail, so you have to be fully prepared before he tries to do something like that. As a girlfriend, you will find it difficult to say no to him, but if you say yes, you will regret it for a lifetime. So, it’s better to say no when you deal with his malicious words. That way, you can prevent yourself from damaging your mental health.
Avoid Interacting With Him When He is in a Bad Mood
A normal man can be a problematic person, but a narcissist can be a dangerous person. That happens mainly when they are in a bad mood. It is a big problem of human nature, and we get angry easily over small things. We cannot control it in most situations, but we should at least try to control it. But a narcissist cannot understand the importance of controlling their bad mood for someone else.
If your boyfriend is a narcissist, then you should be aware of his mood-swing personality because he cannot control his emotions, especially when he is in anger mode. He will accidentally or deliberately try to attack you and see your reaction in this situation. Their habit of noticing someone’s reaction in a critical situation gives them the confidence to control them.
So, if you are the victim of their attack and want to know how to deal with a narcissist boyfriend, then you should start ignoring him as much as possible. That way, you can be able to control most of the situation, and he will not force himself on you. Also, try to be positive towards your attitude; it gives you the confidence to control your overflowing emotion. However, sometimes, he may find out about your sudden ignoring behaviour and do something to catch your attention. And can even try to do something which can irritate you. In this situation, it’s better to get some fresh air and cool down your head by going somewhere where you can feel free from tantrums.
Take a Short Time Break from Your Relationship
Do you know how to deal with a narcissist boyfriend when he is being toxic? If you don’t know about that, then you can try this one too. This one is one of the simplest and most beneficial ways for you.
We can understand that you don’t want to leave him because you care about him, but to get something, we need to give something. It means you have to take a short break if you want to save your relationship. But remember that you must keep it a secret from your boyfriend otherwise he will do something to hurt you. You can go anywhere you like to go but don’t tell every detail and reasons behind your leaving. If you tell him, he will most likely show you that he has no issue, but from inside, he is planning to follow you. So, it’s better to not tell him anything and keep it secret as much as possible.
Taking a break from your unhealthy relationship is a good choice for every person. It helps to control and focus on your own mental and physical health. Most of the time, when we try to protect and handle an unhealthy relationship, we accidentally damage their own health. It can cause mental trauma or physical torture, which is not good for your health.
Apart from that, you can get an idea of what to do with him and how to handle him through a short break. And if you find that there is no chance of your own health safety, then you can cut all your ties with him permanently. That way, you will protect both you and your boyfriend.
Take a Reality Test to Confirm his Emotions
Sometimes, you need to check what your partner’s emotion is and how they will react to a different person. It comes differently from different people, so you should notice each and every moment before making your final decision.
But do you know that they sometimes do something bad without any personal reason and have no intention behind that? That happens when they are struggling with their own personality and have no interest in being with you. This kind of thing may hurt you and force you to make quick decisions. But you have to calm down and take a reality test. Through this test, you will learn about his sudden uptake in emotion and the reason behind his ignorance. You can do this test anytime, and it does not require any equipment.
The reality test is generally designed to check the difference between internal and external personality. The personality may be very difficult to distinguish because a person never shows their real side so easily. So, through this test, you will be able to understand the difference and then be able to take a step according to your understanding.
Things to Remember Before and During the Reality Test:
- Your boyfriend should not be aware of your testing; otherwise, he will try to behave nicely in front of you. His emotions, reactions and actions are important to make a final conclusion. So, you better not let him realize that you are testing him.
- Try to handle the issue not in one way but in multiple ways, meaning you need to think of more solutions than one. This is necessary to do because your boyfriend may be stuck in a difficult situation where you have to make a decision according to your needs. For example, if he feels sad because you did not do what he wanted from you. And expects you to fulfil his wish just by agreeing to his needs. Then do not do that; maybe he is trying to do this to control you or manipulate you for you. But you can take this situation and solve it in different ways. Try to find a simple and positive way; otherwise, you will regret it because of your wrong decision.
Through the above section, we understand everything about how to deal with a narcissist boyfriend when he is becoming toxic for your health. Now, you can deal with him anytime and anywhere, and also you can take a step ahead if you want to protect yourself from his torture. And if you don’t want to leave him, then you can take a short break from your relationship. That way, you can even decide what to do and why to do it.
Rohan Anjan is a passionate writer who likes to write different kinds of content. Through that, he likes to explore the world of creative writing. Working as a content writer, he has covered different niches to enhance his abilities and skills. Besides, he spends time reading manga, watching anime, playing video games, and playing cricket and football. During his free time, he prefers to watch movies and web series if it matches his taste.